Matthew Corcoran

Waiting outside for my second scan I was excited, I had had quite a few early miscarriages before
and was so glad I had made it to 21 weeks!
Inside, I lay on the bed waiting to see my little bundle on the screen, there it was! I was so happy
that it wasnt until the sonographer asked me the last time I'd felt the baby move that I realised
that something was wrong.
I told her I'd felt it move last night, at which point she said the words I will never forget...
" I'm afraid there is no heartbeat, your baby has died."
I heard somebody screaming and it was sometime before I realised it was coming from me.
The hospital told me I had to come back the following day to be induced.
I got to the hospital the following morning and the first thing I saw was a mum with her newborn
baby.
I could barely stand I was so overcome.
I was induced and at 21:18 Matthew was born, he looked so much like his brother Jack.
He was perfect, he had died having strangled himself on the umbilical cord.
I held Matthew for hours until the nurse came to take him away. I couldn't physically give him to
her.
Mike had the awful job of taking him away from me.

Leaving the hospital was the most painful thing I have EVER had to do, my feet would not take me. I
kept being pulled back to check he was ok but of course he wasn't.
Everytime I drive past that hospital I am transported back to that day.

The funeral was just as heartbreaking too. Matthews' ashes are still in my bedroom as I can't bare
to scatter them and let him go. Although I have his photo and hand and footprints, knowing I have
him with me and that he is not on his own somewhere is so much comfort.

Sleep well my little angel, thinking of you always
Love Mummy xxxxxx